Great companions...

It’s been a century perhaps since my last post. I guess I was infected by the so called writers’ block. And in my still constant bloghopping, I realized I was not the only one who has the same problem. Maybe some have suffered from personal problems or maybe they are damn too busy to even tap the keyboard. Some have even bid goodbye while some were just on hiatus. But in my case, it’s laziness!

Anyway, here’s a shot at reviving the pulse and heartbeat of this blog. For so long, I have always wanted to write about my college life and the people I have met along the way. The five-year journey was one hell of a ride. It was full of excitement, fun, laughter, victories and even pain and tears. If I were to make an article about the entire duration of my college, that would be close enough to be a novel. (I know, I am just exaggerating!).

It is normal for a class to have small groups. The boys, I mean the real ones, would always be together. The old high school friends who seemed to have easily adapted with the college life because they were not at all nervous nor intimidated were seated close to each other. I who was one of the shy ones was of course silent in the corner. But as time goes by, the silent me has become the noisiest unfortunately. Some groups have remained strong while some have dissolved and have either merged into other existing groups or formed another one. The latter appears to be the case of the group where I belong. And we call ourselves, The Merge.


(Boys from left to right: Philmar, Me and Tope, and girls from left to right:Johanna, Diana, Angie, Rara and Nikki.)

The Merge was composed of three guys and five girls. All throughout the years, we would always be seen doing things together. Be it in the library pretending to study, in the canteen, in the gym and basically everywhere in the campus. Outside the school we would still hang out together. Personally, they were and are still the very persons I can count on up to this time after my family.

Here I want to share with you who they are, at least to best of my knowledge, and how they have touched my life.

Tope. The only Chinese bearing name in the class is a very humble person. He never brags about of what he has. He was the undefeated badminton player in school during our times. Although at times, I got pissed off by his jokes and his being frugal, his unique way of cheering me up counterbalanced everything. I have not heard of him much lately but I know, he is still a friend I can turn to.

Rara. Originally from other group, she is the person to trust when it comes to money business. I swear she can be a very successful businesswoman someday. Generous would be the exact word to describe her. When somebody in the class needs money for emergency, she would always be there to lend a helping hand. When we need a place for a group study, a project, or even a dance or song rehearsal for a school program, she would selflessly lend her home as a venue. In our last encounter during her visit here in Cebu, I could say that nothing much have changed except for the nice phone and camera. Indeed, being good in money can take you places.

Diana. The holiest in the group. Although of different religion, we never made our religious differences an issue. In her stories about her family, I can say that Diana is the strongest in character in the entire class. She has experienced so much more about the realities of life than the rest of the people her age. And she pulled it off! Now happily married to her long-time boyfriend, she still checks out my friendster and I on her. We may not have been texting that much, but the feeling is mutual. I know we are still good friends.

Philmar. Bayot. He was the funniest in class. He was one of the first people I became close with in school. He never fails to make me laugh at his jokes no matter how corny they may seem. He lights up everything. He is a fan of Naruto, Bleach, Deathnote and many others which I could not really understand. Sometimes, he never keeps his promises, which in one time led to a semi-cold war between him and Angie. In fairness, he does everything to make up. He is a good companion in my exploration of the gay world we both miserably live in. What I admire about him is his being unpretentious. He doesn’t hide anything. He is real inside out.

Angie. One distinctive character I could immediately associate Angie with is responsible. She is the most responsible person I know. At her young age (FYI: She is 2 years younger than most of us), it is already obvious how well she could handle responsibility, be it in her family or in school. Active in so many things in school, she still managed to stay in the Dean’s List and eventually graduated with honors ahead of everybody. Now working for a company in Manila, she helps her parents in sending her younger siblings to school. That is something I really admired about her. So noble!

Johanna. Along with Philmar, she was one of the first people I became close with. Unquestionably, she was one of the most diligent in class. Music was I think the apparent reason why we became friends. We both love music but sadly she was the only one who was loved back by music. And read this. She never looks her age. She’s no daughter of a goddess but really, she is way younger than her age. I don’t know what her secret is. Because of that, she never is out of boyfriends. And read again. Good-looking boyfriends at that. She is also a great company in uncovering the hot spots here in the metro.

Nikki. The most intelligent in class. I think the incident that perhaps gave us the opportunity to be friends was when we join a certain contest in our first year. From then on, we would always join contests and whatever activities together. She was the brain of the many innovative and successful activities in school. She is a walking encyclopedia for me. She knows almost everything under the sun. She is the influence behind my addiction to art films and film festivals. As a bookworm herself, she also influenced me to read good books. I think the best quality of Nikki is her being open-minded and very accepting. She never judges and would always accept anybody as they are. We don’t go out together more often now because she devotes her time in studying to be a lawyer. I know she will be.

Here are some of the captured memories of our college days...






We don’t see each other that much but I know in my heart and in my soul that the friendship is still getting stronger. Thanks to the Internet, everyone is just a click away. To Tope, Rara, Diana, Philmar, Angie, Johanna and Nikki, thank you for the friendship. I hope this is forever. I love y’all!

Guilty as charged...

Here’s one of the surveys in Friendster that I really find exciting. The original rule is you just have to write whether you are GUILTY or INNOCENT as answer to the following questions below. But since this is my blog, I am gonna change the rule. I choose to elaborate some of my answers. As you see, here, I am not hiding anything. As much as possible, I would like this blog to be a venue for expressing and telling the world of my true self.

Game!

Danced in front of your mirror naked?
- Guilty. Yeah, sometimes, I would even dance like a macho dancer.

Ever told a lie?
- Guilty. I think everyone did.

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
- Guilty. I believe this has been my situation all of the time. I know you know what I mean. And I must say, it’s never easy to fall for someone when in the first place you know you can’t have him.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
- Guilty. Actually, I have never kissed someone of the opposite sex.

Kissed a picture?
- Guilty. When I was still working in MEPZ, I fell for someone who was so close to me, like that of a best friend. And corny as it may appear, but I always kissed his picture before going to the office and kissed it again when I arrived home.

Slept in until 5 PM?
- Guilty. There are times that we just feel lazy about doing anything practically. And we just let time pass by as we reward our body with that long slumber.

Fallen asleep at work/school?
- Guilty. When I was working in MEPZ on night shifts, I was caught by my supervisor sleeping under a large carton in the warehouse. I then got a warning letter where I explained why I did such thing. But in fairness, it never reached a point where I was sanctioned for suspension.

Held a snake?
- Guilty. I could hold a snake before and would even scare other children of the seemingly spine-chilling creature. But things do change. I can’t stand seeing a live snake for long, more to hold one. I think I would die without being bitten.

Been suspended from school?
- Innocent. I have always been a good student. My family can fully attest to that without even bribing.

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
- Guilty. Greenwich. It was in my fourth year in college that I decided to take a part-time job to help myself financially with the school’s requirements, projects and all. But this money-earning trek of mine was short-lived. My father told me to stop when he learned that my grades have suffered. I realized, it is really not easy to serve two masters at the same time.

Stolen from a store?
- Innocent. I have never stolen anything from a store and have no plans of doing it in the future. I would rather be executed from killing somebody than to be punished of stealing.

Been fired from a job?
- Innocent. I voluntarily resigned from all of the previous company I had worked for.

Sang karaoke?
- Guilty. This is like a therapy from a week-long stressful work. It’s always fun to sing in the karaoke. I don’t care if I was not in the right pitch and in the correct tune. Here, I can just be the diva I want to be.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
- Guilty. Many times already. So many that I could not point out a single instance.

Done something you regret?
- Guilty. In life, there would be times when you feel you could have done something in other ways. But I am such a happy person. When I regret about something, the mourning would only be for a week and even less. Over a pitcher of kamikaze, I would just dance the pain away.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
- Guilty. This is normal for someone who has great friends, funny friends. I have Philmar and Gabby who never fail to make me laugh hilariously even at their corniest jokes. Sometimes, it’s not only water. It would sometimes be the food I was eating. Hilarious indeed!

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
- Innocent. We don’t have snow here. And I have never been to a place which has one.

Kissed in the rain?
- Innocent. But this doesn’t mean I am not gonna do it. I would love to do it. Kissing somebody in the rain would, for me, be the most romantic moment one can experience. I would want to know what it tastes when the saliva is mixed with the rain. I am so naughty.

Sat on a roof top?
- Guilty. Yes. I sat on a rooftop not for any romantic moment with somebody but because we were children who were merely playing hide and seek. Next time I sit on a roof, I make sure it would be with somebody. And that we would just be gazing at the stars above.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
- Innocent. In case, somebody does it to me, he’d be ready with my revenge. I don’t like jokes like that. And if he seriously does it, then that would have something to be settled properly.

Shaved your head?
- Innocent. I know I have an ugly set of hair but I think I would look terrible without it.

Slept naked?
- Guilty. Yes, in the times when I feel naughty( actually horny), I would lock the door of my room and sleep naked. And for sure, in those times, I was not only sleeping. (Hahaha!)

Had a gym membership?
- Innocent. I was supposed to have but I declined due to some miscommunications which I have already shared in my blog in Friendster.

Made your boy friend cry?
- Innocent. No further explanation.

Been in a band?
- Innocent. If I was, then the group would have been long disbanded. The people would not be happy to listen to someone who could memorize any song by heart but sang them otherwise. Right, Noel?

Shot a gun?
- Innocent. I am afraid of guns.

Donated Blood?
- Guilty. I must admit that the donation was not really heartfelt. I just donated blood for the Red Cross in college because I want to be exempted from the ROTC formation for 2 months.

Eaten alligator meat?
- Innocent. In the first place, is it edible?

Eaten cheesecake?
- Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn't?
- Guilty. Yeah. I realize I still feel something towards W despite the advice of Noel to move away from him after learning that W already has someone. If being guilty of this would have a penalty, then I would be dead of lethal injection by now.

Have a tattoo?
- Innocent. My father doesn’t like the idea. And I am not doing it.

Like someone, but will never tell who?
- Guilty. Maybe at the start, I won’t tell anybody about it. But now, I have such trustworthy friends whom I can share anything about.

Wanted to do something, didn't do it, and regretted it?
- Guilty. Every time there is an alumni homecoming in school, I would really want to have a confession. Get a new life. Focus. Live well. But when I am already there, I just can’t have the courage and the heart to tell all the sins I have committed. And I go home regretting.

Peed in a bush?
- Guilty. Of course when no one is around. I am a very private person and I personally don’t like people peeing anywhere.

Ruined a surprise?
- Guilty. I know, it is never my forte to pretend. I would be the first person to be noticed hiding something.

Got totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
- Innocent. Like I said, I was a good student.

A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney fare?
- Innocent. But I remember giving 5 pesos to somebody for a tricycle fare.

The verdict is I am guilty. Got a problem with that?

The change in me...

There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything changes. And so does my name.

When I started to create this blog, I thought of a blog title that would be unique. Something that would speak what my blog is really about.. Then I came up with Lifamin Chalomot Mitgashmin. This is a song from Israel which literally means sometimes, dreams come true. I had explained why I had chosen this to be my blog name in my older post.

Then I think that I have to change it to something English so that people can easily pronounce and understand. Same with my old name, my new name comes from a song entitled the same. I first heard this song over Regine Velasquez’ Bantay Bata Concert years way back. This was written by no less than Mr. Ryan Cayabyab. There are many interpretations of this song by many of our talented local artists but Regine’s rendition just captured me. Her powerful voice and the amount of emotions that she has put in singing this standing-ovation-worthy song convey the real story.

The lyrics, I must say is genuinely magnificent. It tells exactly of what my love life is going though right now. This is not the Bantay Bata video. But I hope this still compensates.



We speak but the words we say mean nothing.
We smile but the smiles we give are wanting.
We look upon each other's eyes, no spark
No glow, no real signs, but we both know
This is all for show.

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We could show the world we have each other
Sometime, somewhere we need not hide out feelings,
We just keep on believing that we both have the time together
Sometime and somewhere, our lips would be free at last
To say the words we've hungered to say.

And we won't have to worry, we smile we won't say sorry
One look and we have cast our fears aside.
Sometime, that sometime will turn to forever, for all time.
Somewhere, our somewhere would not be just one place,
But everywhere.

Until that sometime, somewhere,
We just have to be content with stealing glances
Somehow, content with saying nothing, smiles that are
Always wanting. Though deep inside it hurts
Because we know that our love, like love,
Is what it is, it's what we got
Our love, like love will have to wait
Until that sometime, somewhere.


I hope this blog would not experience identity crisis again in the future just like the one writing this. And I hope that I would be able to find that sometime, somewhere with someone.

Ef's birthday...

This is again a late post about a late celebration!

Why have I become passive of being tardy now? Why does it not matter to me at all now? The company that I am working does not penalize tardiness. I mean they only deduct from our salaries the lost time and don’t have certain rules regarding absences and tardiness. Thank God because if they do, I would now be out there looking for a new employer who would accept someone terminated due to tardiness. But this is not the story of this post. Another one will be made about this.

Last May 25, Ef celebrated 25 years of existence. We were not able to celebrate on time because her parents from Leyte were in town for her birthday also. We don’t want to rob her rare time with her family. So we decided to have it the next weekend. And this was it!

Ef is an ex-officemate who I wish is still here in the office. This beautiful woman exudes strength and excellence. She is two years younger than me but obviously she is more accomplished, more successful, and a lot better as a professional. At first, I was not sure if we could become friends because she was so intimidating. But sometimes, first impression doesn’t last. And we have proven that. Now, when we have the time to get together with the rest of the officemates and ex-officemates, we openly share our stories and would talk about serious stuffs like our careers, love life and even religion. I always have fun listening to their stories and sharing mine.

Here ere are some of the captured moments on her late birthday celebration at Bigby’s Ayala.

A very special friend...

I think for a starter of this blogworld, this post would actually be too late since my last one. I had actually drafted a number of articles yet I did not have the confidence and the courage to post it here. But surely, I will have them here in due time.

Anyway, I should not be writing anything today because I am jam-packed with reports and deadlines. One client just ended its fiscal year and I expect a lot of work to be finished. And since the month just ended as well, the compliances to the government agencies and other statutory reports endlessly tire me out.

But today is a special day for me.

It is Jehson’s 26th birthday. And this post would basically be about him and how we became friends. Special friend as I personally classify it.

Jehson is straight and I can attest to that. He is one year younger than me. In high school, I never had a memory of any sort of acquaintances with him. But he claimed that he has seen me one time when I went to his dormitory to talk about something to his helping brother (this is what we call our dormitory prefect). This I could not really remember. Nonetheless, we, together with another friend Efren really got close when we worked together for a company in MEPZ. I was actually hesitant to make friends with them because we had no common interest. Both of them liked basketball a lot while I would rather clean the house and do the laundry. But because we came from the same high school and were instilled with the same values, we eventually became good friends and almost inseparable.

We had the same working shift thus we would always be seen together. Although we did not live in the same house, at work we basically do things together. We ate, slept, took illegal breaks, went home together. On weekends, we would always catch the latest movies in the malls. We would even go to church together. I was so used to being with them that one time I was certainly upset when they did not tell me that they have eaten midnight lunch already. I was waiting for them for about half an hour and my starving stomach prompted me to just go to the canteen. There I found out that they have finished already and were about to take a nap as we usually do.

I felt I was betrayed. I felt I was left alone. I felt lonely. And for almost three months, I did not talk to them. It was my way of taking revenge. I wanted them to be bothered of why I was behaving that way. At the time of course, I did not know that they were affected by my absence. My officemates noticed the emptiness and loneliness in me. I would by then eat, take a break and go home all alone. While I thought that I was taking my sweet revenge, it was actually I who was hurt the most. I was sad and down without them. I was so incomplete and had even a couple of sleepless nights crying. My heart wanted so much to reconcile already but my pride held me back from doing so. Until my officemates called Jehson and Efren to our area and had us reconciled. Words of apologies were softly yet wholeheartedly spoken. We shook hands and in the next few minutes we were again together, stronger, as if nothing happened.

Now, after almost eight years since we resigned from the company, I could say that we still remain the best of friends. We all have different lives now. Efren is now married and is trying to find success in Isabela. Jehson, is now a successful seaman traveling around the world earning millions of dollars. I, on the other hand, am working for a small accounting firm here in Cebu. With everything that is and will be happening to me, I would forever be grateful that I found these two great individuals whom I again, personally classify as special friends.

On his birthday, I texted him that I wish God grants everything that his heart desires. And he replied “Wow! Thx.hoping so much. Mao pa lng jud pglrga nmo gkan new york 2 west Africa 1port dn blik n sad dre us.rgardz ko dha. Hehehe”

He never fails to text me back whenever I text him whether he is in or out of the country. The latter depends of course if he is on land, I mean, not in the middle of the ocean. And this makes me feel I am someone special too.