Living alone...

Almost a year ago, I had the opportunity of living alone when my officemates left permanently our Cebu staffhouse for an Agusan work assignment. Finally, I had all the freedom I so long desired because for most of my life, I have always been living with my family. Living arrangement like this would not surely make my adult life prosper. (You know exactly what I mean about that.) But that is not the only thing I was ecstatic about initially.

Living alone gives me all the time to watch my favorite cable channel because there is no one else trying to switch it. I don’t have to rush doing my thing in the bathroom because I know there is no one knocking on the door. When coming home late from gimmicks, I don’t have to worry anymore whether the main door is double-locked or not. Simply, I was very happy having all the freedom to do everything I want just because I am all alone.

But this happiness that freedom brought seemed to be so fleeting. Two months or so have passed, I started to feel empty. I missed the food that Yanyan and Mark prepared for every dinner and the funny conversations that ensued. I missed those times when we had to sleep all together in one room basically because it’s air-conditioned. I felt that the two-bedroom apartment became a creepy mansion that sometimes in the midnight silence, I could hear whispers. In other words, I was alone and was starting to feel lonely.

I am a naturally loquacious person that coming home from a day’s work without anyone to talk to drives me crazy. This leads me to a deep thinking about the lives of some people who remain single, either out of destiny or rather out of choice, as a consequence of a painful break-up, on how they seize their every day. Would it really matter if we have someone we can sleep with at night? Does it make any difference if we have someone to eat breakfast with the following morning?

Of course, for me, it does.

There is not a single day when I had not wished that maybe I would find that someone. Someone to hold, someone to lean on, someone to laugh with and someone who makes me feel alive. That I can just shrug off the depressing idea of growing old alone because I know someone’s gonna be here to stay by me. And that someone could just be anybody because after all, love is not about genders.