The sun is perfect this morning. After many days of heavy rain, the sun has finally shown its beauty. I stood by the door and noticed that there was a puppy in the garage sniffing something I don’t know. Afar I can see our neighbors preparing for the laundry. I thought it must be tiresome to do laundry for clothes used for a week or so. Everything seems to be perfect except my heart.
I woke up with a heavy heart. The pain that this thing called love brings hits me again. People may not notice it because I can easily make a façade and try to look happy but deep inside I am actually hurting. I feel that my heart is squeezed and the squeezing pain makes it hard for to breathe. I was holding my tears from falling down because I don’t want the people in the house to know what I am really experiencing. I am trying to make everything appear okay so that they may not be able to acknowledge that I am broken. At least by doing this, I am not bothering other people for my foolishness.
I met W at the most unexpected place in the most unexpected time. I did not really expect that I would fall for this person. You see as I grow older, my standards have also matured in some ways. Before, physical appearance is the first priority. Of course, who would want to have a partner who is not attractive at all? But W’s impact to me is just different. W’s cheerfulness is so infectious that whenever I see that smile, my heart jumps in gladness. W’s text telling me to eat on time and sleep well is very flattering. I have never known someone before who would send me messages of concern even my parents. But don’t get me wrong. My parents are of course concerned of me, they are just not so expressive about it.
I was hoping actually that somehow we may reach to a certain level of relationship. I took all W’s words and actions so seriously. I was happy being with W even if I knew that W was just there as a friend and nothing more. The pain of not letting W know about my feeling is nothing compared with the joy that W’s mere presence brings. I know I am overly dramatic and OA but sorry I just can’t explain how exactly I was feeling every single time that I was with W.
And now that W’s gone, I mean not dead, I feel so alone and lonely. I feel that something important to me has been taken out of my system by force. I know that although W is just around the place, the fact that I won’t be able to look at the smiling face still brings tears to my eyes. The song of Jam Morales, Even If, perfectly describes what I feel right now about W.
Even If
Jam Morales
All those sleepless nights
All the tears I cried
All the pain I kept inside
I kept asking myself why
You had to say goodbye
Was it just a dream
When you said to me
That there is someone new in your life
You could have at least lied
The truth just scared me
Chorus:
Even if...
You mean the whole damn world to me
I can forget you, wait and see
I can be strong even without you
I can't waste my life forever
Hoping you'd come back to me
But deep inside I know
I'll be waiting here for you
(instrumental)
Even if...
You mean the whole damn world to me
I can forget you, wait and see
I can be strong even without you
I can't waste my life forever
Hoping you'd come back to me
But deep inside I know
I'll be waiting here for you
I have been keeping this feeling to myself for more than three months now. I know I am stupid not to let W know everything. I am happy and hurting at the same time. I don’t know really. But I can move on. I am in the process actually. This post is the start of that. I am letting go. I am letting go of my happiness for the best of everybody. Yet no matter how much pain I have felt, it was all worth it. There is one thing though that I need to tell W. “Remember me once in a while, please promise me you’ll try.”
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Missing OJTs...
My post today would be about our OJTs in the office. Regularly, our office accepts OJTs from the period March to May every year. Last year, I have only known 2 of the OJTs because we were late when we arrived from Victorias City. This time, we had 10 all from the University of San Carlos.
I was modestly insecure about them on a couple of things. First, because they were given an opportunity to have the training. In my time in college, although our program was a five-year course, we had never a program like that of an on the job training. What we had was a 9-unit Integrated Accounting subject where we invited prominent names in the field of accounting in Manila. But the problem however was they were not there on a regular basis. Most of the time, it was only us in the class. In other words, our time and money were simply spent for nothing. And for me, it was really nothing. I don’t even remember anything from that subject. In the case of our OJTs, thery are so lucky for even if they have not graduated yet, they already have an experience which they can boast in their resumes. They already know what it is working, dealing with other people, making reports and beating deadlines. If I had this in college, I would have been more prepared in applying for jobs after graduation.
Second thing I feel a little envious about is that they are still very young. I remember my old days and old friends when I was their age. I envy their innocence in some sense, their freedom and their overwhelming energy. Now that I aged a little, (give me some consolation here, okay? I am not really that old!), I feel that I need to focus more on my career and my life in the future. But I must say that I had enough being young. After all the state of happiness does not rely solely on time. We can be truly happy anytime.
When they were still here, the office became lighter. Lighter in the sense that they were so cheerful and laughing with them is totally a relief from the stressful work we do. Lighter also because they helped us with our work. This, I am so grateful for.
Gone, they were. The OJT-ship ended last week and it may sound corny but they left us half-empty. Suddenly there was no one around to help us out..Who would ask us what to do. Who would ask us something like they were our younger brothers and sisters. But that is what really life is all about. Some people may come and touch our lives and then leave. And then some other will come again. And the cycle continues. But the thing is every time, someone goes, there is always that little pain. Mingaw in the Cebuano dialect.
Mingawon jud mi ninyo Andy, Sanrio, Miguel, Kristine, Tani, DP, Melai, Jeannie, Ernst and Nicole! Thanks for everything! I hope you guys won’t forget me and the rest of us here when you become what you have been dreaming of.
In this light, let me quote Frederick Buechner. "There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the challenge is to find out which is the voice of God rather than society or ego…. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.”
Shodi tomilak! Keep in touch!
I was modestly insecure about them on a couple of things. First, because they were given an opportunity to have the training. In my time in college, although our program was a five-year course, we had never a program like that of an on the job training. What we had was a 9-unit Integrated Accounting subject where we invited prominent names in the field of accounting in Manila. But the problem however was they were not there on a regular basis. Most of the time, it was only us in the class. In other words, our time and money were simply spent for nothing. And for me, it was really nothing. I don’t even remember anything from that subject. In the case of our OJTs, thery are so lucky for even if they have not graduated yet, they already have an experience which they can boast in their resumes. They already know what it is working, dealing with other people, making reports and beating deadlines. If I had this in college, I would have been more prepared in applying for jobs after graduation.
Second thing I feel a little envious about is that they are still very young. I remember my old days and old friends when I was their age. I envy their innocence in some sense, their freedom and their overwhelming energy. Now that I aged a little, (give me some consolation here, okay? I am not really that old!), I feel that I need to focus more on my career and my life in the future. But I must say that I had enough being young. After all the state of happiness does not rely solely on time. We can be truly happy anytime.
When they were still here, the office became lighter. Lighter in the sense that they were so cheerful and laughing with them is totally a relief from the stressful work we do. Lighter also because they helped us with our work. This, I am so grateful for.
Gone, they were. The OJT-ship ended last week and it may sound corny but they left us half-empty. Suddenly there was no one around to help us out..Who would ask us what to do. Who would ask us something like they were our younger brothers and sisters. But that is what really life is all about. Some people may come and touch our lives and then leave. And then some other will come again. And the cycle continues. But the thing is every time, someone goes, there is always that little pain. Mingaw in the Cebuano dialect.
Mingawon jud mi ninyo Andy, Sanrio, Miguel, Kristine, Tani, DP, Melai, Jeannie, Ernst and Nicole! Thanks for everything! I hope you guys won’t forget me and the rest of us here when you become what you have been dreaming of.
In this light, let me quote Frederick Buechner. "There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the challenge is to find out which is the voice of God rather than society or ego…. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.”
Shodi tomilak! Keep in touch!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
What if?
I am about to turn 27 this year and I am not living the life I so long dreamed. This is the reality and it really hurts. Sometimes, it just pains to see other people, even younger than my age achieving their goals, and rejoicing over them. It even hurts me more because a lot of people are expecting that I would be SOMEBODY after graduation. And I feel like I am disappointing them.
In my mind, I know that my family believes that I would be the hope in alleviating them from the dungeons of poverty. They have high hopes that I would do well in the working world considering that I did well in school. But again, reality struck me. Fresh from graduation and equipped with confidence, I tried my luck here in Cebu and realized that I am not a star. I applied for companies and had my fair share of rejections. At first, it was hard to accept considering that I was one of the leading students in our school, modesty aside. But Cebu has its own treasures. It has its own galaxy of stars. And I simply pale in comparison.
Nonetheless, I did not lose hope. After I resigned from my first job, I took a crack at applying to different companies even if they were out of line with the degree I finished. I had really a hard time looking for a job because I felt that I was being blocklisted by the people of my previous company whom I have conflict with. There was even an instance where I was actually accepted already for an internal auditor position but after they called my previous office, suddenly they declined me for the vacancy. Honestly, I did what I think was good in my previous company. I was just being true to myself. I was just being fair. I was just protecting myself and my friends. I was only standing by my beliefs. But you can’t please everybody indeed! Some people in my previous office reacted negatively on the way I carried my job, on the way I speak my mind. Some believed me but it was too uncomfortable to continue living in an environment where people just wanted me to fall short. In another words, they wanted me and my friend out of the office. I left in total relief, so I thought.
I now work for an accounting firm also here in Cebu. At the beginning I had fun because I was assigned in Victorias City Negros Occidental. I was challenged by the volume of work the client was demanding from us. I may have spent sleepless nights just to finish the needed reports but I felt I have grown. Until, the client terminated our contract and eventually triggered for our transfer here in Cebu. The transition was a little bit awkward. I had new officemates and their presence was so intimidating at that time. I must say that first impressions don’t always last. My new officemates actually became real friends, and that is one thing I am grateful for.
And then something not so good happened.
That something, which I opted not to disclose here, made me realize that I am reaffirming the universal truth, if that’s what you call it, that history repeats itself. I felt again the gawky feeling that I don’t belong to the place again. After the resignation of most of the original staffs here, I felt that the office is half empty and until now that space has not been filled. When they left, I think that I was also left unprepared. Quite not safeguarded but definitely self-challenged. I was challenged that perhaps I would be able to stand up to their expectations and standards. That someday I would be like them, professionally first-rate.
And then that something happened.
I was lost. I have never been told by anyone something that can actually make my morale go down. I know in my heart that nobody deserves such kind. My ex-officemates told me that I should look for another haven, somewhere where I can truly be the best of myself. Somewhere where respect for each other prevails. Somewhere where I can be genuinely happy. And I think I would have to agree with them.
But here is the dilemma again. What if history repeats itself for the second time? What if I won’t be able to find another job? What if they would do the same thing that my previous employer did to me? I know, I am so paranoid but what if?
These thoughts make me really miserable. I don’t want to just end up like that. I have to achieve my dreams still. I have to help my family. I have to be happy. I have to live by the expectations of the people who believed in me. I am glad I am still sane to know that I don’t have to rush everything. I still believe in the power of prayer. I still believe that someday, I am gonna find my place. When would that happen? I just have to wait and pray.
In my mind, I know that my family believes that I would be the hope in alleviating them from the dungeons of poverty. They have high hopes that I would do well in the working world considering that I did well in school. But again, reality struck me. Fresh from graduation and equipped with confidence, I tried my luck here in Cebu and realized that I am not a star. I applied for companies and had my fair share of rejections. At first, it was hard to accept considering that I was one of the leading students in our school, modesty aside. But Cebu has its own treasures. It has its own galaxy of stars. And I simply pale in comparison.
Nonetheless, I did not lose hope. After I resigned from my first job, I took a crack at applying to different companies even if they were out of line with the degree I finished. I had really a hard time looking for a job because I felt that I was being blocklisted by the people of my previous company whom I have conflict with. There was even an instance where I was actually accepted already for an internal auditor position but after they called my previous office, suddenly they declined me for the vacancy. Honestly, I did what I think was good in my previous company. I was just being true to myself. I was just being fair. I was just protecting myself and my friends. I was only standing by my beliefs. But you can’t please everybody indeed! Some people in my previous office reacted negatively on the way I carried my job, on the way I speak my mind. Some believed me but it was too uncomfortable to continue living in an environment where people just wanted me to fall short. In another words, they wanted me and my friend out of the office. I left in total relief, so I thought.
I now work for an accounting firm also here in Cebu. At the beginning I had fun because I was assigned in Victorias City Negros Occidental. I was challenged by the volume of work the client was demanding from us. I may have spent sleepless nights just to finish the needed reports but I felt I have grown. Until, the client terminated our contract and eventually triggered for our transfer here in Cebu. The transition was a little bit awkward. I had new officemates and their presence was so intimidating at that time. I must say that first impressions don’t always last. My new officemates actually became real friends, and that is one thing I am grateful for.
And then something not so good happened.
That something, which I opted not to disclose here, made me realize that I am reaffirming the universal truth, if that’s what you call it, that history repeats itself. I felt again the gawky feeling that I don’t belong to the place again. After the resignation of most of the original staffs here, I felt that the office is half empty and until now that space has not been filled. When they left, I think that I was also left unprepared. Quite not safeguarded but definitely self-challenged. I was challenged that perhaps I would be able to stand up to their expectations and standards. That someday I would be like them, professionally first-rate.
And then that something happened.
I was lost. I have never been told by anyone something that can actually make my morale go down. I know in my heart that nobody deserves such kind. My ex-officemates told me that I should look for another haven, somewhere where I can truly be the best of myself. Somewhere where respect for each other prevails. Somewhere where I can be genuinely happy. And I think I would have to agree with them.
But here is the dilemma again. What if history repeats itself for the second time? What if I won’t be able to find another job? What if they would do the same thing that my previous employer did to me? I know, I am so paranoid but what if?
These thoughts make me really miserable. I don’t want to just end up like that. I have to achieve my dreams still. I have to help my family. I have to be happy. I have to live by the expectations of the people who believed in me. I am glad I am still sane to know that I don’t have to rush everything. I still believe in the power of prayer. I still believe that someday, I am gonna find my place. When would that happen? I just have to wait and pray.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Random thoughts...
I am not in the mood to write something right now. My brain must have been enervated from yesterday’s activities. Noel and I had a very interesting escapade which I prefer not to publish it here. But here are some of the things I am thinking in this cold rainy morning.
…I didn’t actually like to report to work today. I was just tired. I felt I have not gained enough sleep. It was raining and the sound of the rains falling on our roof was a lullaby making me want to cuddle with my pillows more. Zzzzzz….
…I wasn’t able to greet my mother and my sisters on Mother’s Day. My phone battery was empty on a Saturday night and I unfortunately left my charger in the office. That means that I was off air the entire Sunday. I hope it’s not too late to say this. “Happy Mother’s Day to my Nanay, Manang Vilma, Mana Lynde and Ate Riza and to all the mothers”. This celebration is one way of saying thank you for everything. I may not be very vocal of what I feel about my mother, but deep inside I hope she feels how truly grateful I am for the things she had done and will do to me. Mingaw na nuon ko sa akong Nanay!
…Today is the birthday of LJR, the person behind the Lord in my name. LJR was a batch mate in high school who hails from Naval, Biliran. We had plenty of memorable experiences together. I experienced how it is to love and be loved in return because of this person. But since graduation, I have not seen LJR. I heard from another batch mate that LJR is already married and has two great kids. I was happy to at least know something about LJR. On this day, I wish all the best for LJR. Happiness, good health, peace in the family. I still want to see LJR though, but just as friends.
…I finally have something to do after this. My client just called that they needed a schedule of the travel expenses and the expenses incurred in their shows held abroad. Not really a mind-boggling task, but at least I would be able to flex these brain muscles, hand for that matter, of mine.
…I am currently listening to a list of sad, breaking up, moving on love songs on Imeem. It is a pretty nice playlist. It sets me in the mood to focus on my work.
:( Need to get back to work....
…I didn’t actually like to report to work today. I was just tired. I felt I have not gained enough sleep. It was raining and the sound of the rains falling on our roof was a lullaby making me want to cuddle with my pillows more. Zzzzzz….
…I wasn’t able to greet my mother and my sisters on Mother’s Day. My phone battery was empty on a Saturday night and I unfortunately left my charger in the office. That means that I was off air the entire Sunday. I hope it’s not too late to say this. “Happy Mother’s Day to my Nanay, Manang Vilma, Mana Lynde and Ate Riza and to all the mothers”. This celebration is one way of saying thank you for everything. I may not be very vocal of what I feel about my mother, but deep inside I hope she feels how truly grateful I am for the things she had done and will do to me. Mingaw na nuon ko sa akong Nanay!
…Today is the birthday of LJR, the person behind the Lord in my name. LJR was a batch mate in high school who hails from Naval, Biliran. We had plenty of memorable experiences together. I experienced how it is to love and be loved in return because of this person. But since graduation, I have not seen LJR. I heard from another batch mate that LJR is already married and has two great kids. I was happy to at least know something about LJR. On this day, I wish all the best for LJR. Happiness, good health, peace in the family. I still want to see LJR though, but just as friends.
…I finally have something to do after this. My client just called that they needed a schedule of the travel expenses and the expenses incurred in their shows held abroad. Not really a mind-boggling task, but at least I would be able to flex these brain muscles, hand for that matter, of mine.
…I am currently listening to a list of sad, breaking up, moving on love songs on Imeem. It is a pretty nice playlist. It sets me in the mood to focus on my work.
:( Need to get back to work....
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Just trying to be one...
I was very apprehensive at first if I would continue making this blog. I don’t really have the writing prowess like that of Jessica Zafra, Girard and Nikki. I don’t even know if I would be able to finish this post. But I really love to write. I love to scribble every event that is happening in my life. And I want to read everything I write.
I have learned from a blogger that he started apprehensive too. He knew he can write but was never confident. He didn’t know if he would have readers. He didn’t know if his stories would come out interesting. Nevertheless, he believed that by continually writing about even anything would eventually enhance his writing skill. And it did. Now, as I read his recent posts, I can say that indeed he has improved a lot. He becomes an artistic write rather than just an ordinary one. He writes his stories in a very creative way that a reader cannot help but anticipates his next posts.
I want to be like him.
Although, blogging is like more of a personal thing for me, I want it to be worth-reading also. I initially just wanted to share my experiences with other people by making this blog. I just wanted to write things that interest me. But I had in mind that by doing so, I might as well try to the best I could to make my posts worth reading.
Honestly, when I was in college, I was less confident about being part of the school paper. I knew in my heart and in my mind that I was never trained to do something like writing. I was even a little ashamed of the articles I wrote. I know that I know correct basic English (thanks to my high school English teachers) but writing is totally a different story. It requires a creative mind to be able to come out with interesting topics. And I just don’t have that. I don’t know why Nikki invited me to join her in the school paper. She might have seen something in me. Having been invited, I thought that maybe I had a little chance indeed. In my four years in the school paper, I believe I have improved my writing. I may not be the greatest writer the school had, but I spent most of my happy days in college in the school paper. But that’s another story.
Anyway, I am reviving my spirit about writing because I really want to be a good one. I want to expand my vocabularies. I want to be creative. I want to share my ideas even the modest ones. I want to maximize everything that my brain is capable of doing. I want to be someone less than Jessica Zafra but greater than Cristy Fermin!
I have learned from a blogger that he started apprehensive too. He knew he can write but was never confident. He didn’t know if he would have readers. He didn’t know if his stories would come out interesting. Nevertheless, he believed that by continually writing about even anything would eventually enhance his writing skill. And it did. Now, as I read his recent posts, I can say that indeed he has improved a lot. He becomes an artistic write rather than just an ordinary one. He writes his stories in a very creative way that a reader cannot help but anticipates his next posts.
I want to be like him.
Although, blogging is like more of a personal thing for me, I want it to be worth-reading also. I initially just wanted to share my experiences with other people by making this blog. I just wanted to write things that interest me. But I had in mind that by doing so, I might as well try to the best I could to make my posts worth reading.
Honestly, when I was in college, I was less confident about being part of the school paper. I knew in my heart and in my mind that I was never trained to do something like writing. I was even a little ashamed of the articles I wrote. I know that I know correct basic English (thanks to my high school English teachers) but writing is totally a different story. It requires a creative mind to be able to come out with interesting topics. And I just don’t have that. I don’t know why Nikki invited me to join her in the school paper. She might have seen something in me. Having been invited, I thought that maybe I had a little chance indeed. In my four years in the school paper, I believe I have improved my writing. I may not be the greatest writer the school had, but I spent most of my happy days in college in the school paper. But that’s another story.
Anyway, I am reviving my spirit about writing because I really want to be a good one. I want to expand my vocabularies. I want to be creative. I want to share my ideas even the modest ones. I want to maximize everything that my brain is capable of doing. I want to be someone less than Jessica Zafra but greater than Cristy Fermin!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Another night of immorality...
May 7, 2008, Gabby texted me that a grand opening night of a certain gaybar in Mandaue would be happening the next day. I was excited. I know that when it comes to things like this, I could never say no. I thought it must be really a big show because it coincided with the annual fiesta of the city. So the plan would be like this. Since I still have to report to work, I would have to go to his house, have dinner and head for the bar.
But the plan was amended when we knew that the opening would not push through. We then think of Mr. J, a restaurant along Sanciangco and Pelaez Sts. Philmar said that the place would not be conducive for people like Gabby and me because most people who go there are teenagers and he even said that it was cheap. Nevertheless, out of curiosity, we proceeded. The place is not like any other bars or restaurant that I have been to before. It was literally simple, and cheap. There was no entrance fee. The entire place was just secured by a wooden fence, which I think would be very easy to break when worse comes to worst. The entire space was divided into two. Near the entrance is the open area. By open, I mean, there was no roof. There were already a number of people drinking when we got there. The other part is the closed area. What else would I call the opposite of the open area? Right? Anyway, it was closed in its simplest sense because it had a roof and, walls. This area was dark. The only light that illuminated the whole area was the lamp near the DJ's desk. I could see that there were also a number of people sitting on the table, and they were mostly couples. And oh, I felt that something was happening in there. Something mysterious. Something illegal. Something gay.
We stayed for like an hour and drank a couple of beer to see if indeed there were dirtiness. We spotted some prospects, in fairness, but never got the chance to take them out. It was almost 10pm when we decided to go to Jane's Partner, a bar in Lapu-lapu City. As usual, we were just there sitting and joyfully staring at the display of male dancing on stage with barely a little cloth on their bodies. It's always a sight to behold. I don't know but seeing those heavenly creatures dancing with their threateningly huge birds always gives me an orgasm. Am I exaggerating?
After almost three hours, we decided to go back to Mr. J and hopefully would be able to take out our prospects. But alas, we found out that the bar was closed already. Dismayed by this fact, we headed to Juliana's and just ended the night, the dawn I mean, dancing.
Being with friends like Gabby and Jakim in adventures like this is always fun and, tiresome. We may have not successfully taken out our prospects, we still managed to take the night away. Next time, I will make sure nga dili na ko maglukdo ug kalabasa. Promise!!
But the plan was amended when we knew that the opening would not push through. We then think of Mr. J, a restaurant along Sanciangco and Pelaez Sts. Philmar said that the place would not be conducive for people like Gabby and me because most people who go there are teenagers and he even said that it was cheap. Nevertheless, out of curiosity, we proceeded. The place is not like any other bars or restaurant that I have been to before. It was literally simple, and cheap. There was no entrance fee. The entire place was just secured by a wooden fence, which I think would be very easy to break when worse comes to worst. The entire space was divided into two. Near the entrance is the open area. By open, I mean, there was no roof. There were already a number of people drinking when we got there. The other part is the closed area. What else would I call the opposite of the open area? Right? Anyway, it was closed in its simplest sense because it had a roof and, walls. This area was dark. The only light that illuminated the whole area was the lamp near the DJ's desk. I could see that there were also a number of people sitting on the table, and they were mostly couples. And oh, I felt that something was happening in there. Something mysterious. Something illegal. Something gay.
We stayed for like an hour and drank a couple of beer to see if indeed there were dirtiness. We spotted some prospects, in fairness, but never got the chance to take them out. It was almost 10pm when we decided to go to Jane's Partner, a bar in Lapu-lapu City. As usual, we were just there sitting and joyfully staring at the display of male dancing on stage with barely a little cloth on their bodies. It's always a sight to behold. I don't know but seeing those heavenly creatures dancing with their threateningly huge birds always gives me an orgasm. Am I exaggerating?
After almost three hours, we decided to go back to Mr. J and hopefully would be able to take out our prospects. But alas, we found out that the bar was closed already. Dismayed by this fact, we headed to Juliana's and just ended the night, the dawn I mean, dancing.
Being with friends like Gabby and Jakim in adventures like this is always fun and, tiresome. We may have not successfully taken out our prospects, we still managed to take the night away. Next time, I will make sure nga dili na ko maglukdo ug kalabasa. Promise!!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
The truth behind my name...
I was wondering what to name this blog. It should be something unique. Something original. And of course something which has a story.
Lifamim Chalomot Mitgashmim is a Hebrew song which literally means Sometimes Dreams Come True. This song was performed by the winners of the Kokhav Nolad, Israel’s version of American Idol namely Harel Moyal, the champion, Harel Skaat, the first runner up and Adi Cohen, the second runner up. It was Dailou, my officemate who introduced me to this song, well singers. And since then, I have been crazy over them.
Hatikvah kvar aruzahbetoch kufsa v'rudah
vehakol nir'eh muzarbe'eretz lo nod'a
hagalgal shuv mistovevme'al masach ashan
veha'or hamehavhevzoher alai achshav.
Lif'amim chalomot mitgashmimlif'amim,
k'shehalev od tamim
lif'amim, beleil kayitz chamim
lif'amim chalomot mitgashmim.
Hash'vilim shemovilimle'eretz hachalom
niftachim umegalim et kol rig'ei hatom,
orot hak'rach dolkim achshav
bechol chadrei halev,
betoch tochi yesh hargashah
shel osher mitkarev.
Lif'amim chalomot mitgashmim...
Pirchei halev mitorerim bemilion tzva'im,
vehashamaim zoharim mul sha'ar hap'laim
od dakah bachashechah,vehamon kolot,
ulai achshav, ulai machar,akum el toch chalom.
Lif'amim chalomot mitgashmim...
Of the three, I was most amazed by Harel Skaat. He has such an excellent voice and a stunning star appeal. It was love at first sight, I must say. Although, I did not understand their songs, I make it a point to search on google to know what they were trying to convey. I may have twisted my tongue to sing their songs, but it was always fun.
So there.
Lifamim Chalomot Mitgashmim is a Hebrew song which literally means Sometimes Dreams Come True. This song was performed by the winners of the Kokhav Nolad, Israel’s version of American Idol namely Harel Moyal, the champion, Harel Skaat, the first runner up and Adi Cohen, the second runner up. It was Dailou, my officemate who introduced me to this song, well singers. And since then, I have been crazy over them.
Hatikvah kvar aruzahbetoch kufsa v'rudah
vehakol nir'eh muzarbe'eretz lo nod'a
hagalgal shuv mistovevme'al masach ashan
veha'or hamehavhevzoher alai achshav.
Lif'amim chalomot mitgashmimlif'amim,
k'shehalev od tamim
lif'amim, beleil kayitz chamim
lif'amim chalomot mitgashmim.
Hash'vilim shemovilimle'eretz hachalom
niftachim umegalim et kol rig'ei hatom,
orot hak'rach dolkim achshav
bechol chadrei halev,
betoch tochi yesh hargashah
shel osher mitkarev.
Lif'amim chalomot mitgashmim...
Pirchei halev mitorerim bemilion tzva'im,
vehashamaim zoharim mul sha'ar hap'laim
od dakah bachashechah,vehamon kolot,
ulai achshav, ulai machar,akum el toch chalom.
Lif'amim chalomot mitgashmim...
Of the three, I was most amazed by Harel Skaat. He has such an excellent voice and a stunning star appeal. It was love at first sight, I must say. Although, I did not understand their songs, I make it a point to search on google to know what they were trying to convey. I may have twisted my tongue to sing their songs, but it was always fun.
So there.
My greatest pleasure...
This would be my first entry for this blog and I am gonna talk about something I really love to do. Singing. Char! My family is not in any way musical although some of my siblings sing in church and play a little guitar. But that’s just it. Nothing very formal really.
Ever since I was a kid, I know I love music already. I would listen to the radio. I would hear my sisters and my other cousins sing and I would just sing along. I would write down lyrics of songs in a notebook. I even remember that I can memorize a song, both lyrics and melody in just a matter of hours. Could I be gifted like Lea Salonga? How I wish! When I was young I really thought I had a voice. My teachers in elementary would even want me to sing in school programs which I vehemently resisted. But had sang once though in one of the culmination program in the school.
In high school, I auditioned for a chorale competition. I had to sing the National Anthem based on the key given by the voice teacher. I did all my best but lost. The teacher told me that I was not out of key or tune but had to dismiss me because of my pitch. He said I had a female pitch. That means that I can’t sing male songs. I may be able to sing but with so much difficulty due to its high pitch. I was really puzzled. Could there be such a condition like that? But I do have a very big loud voice. How can it be?
Later, I realized that indeed, I can’t sing male songs. It is really hard for me. It would be either too low or too high for me. But who cares? I am no American Idol. I have all the right to sing whenever and wherever I like. Music lifts my spirit up. It keeps me cool. It soothes me. It makes me sleep. It makes me relax. I can’t live without it.
There are really some good songs that I can relate easily. Songs that can either make me cry or smile. Songs that can set me in the mood. I will be writing another article about these songs that really touch my heart.
Until then.
Ever since I was a kid, I know I love music already. I would listen to the radio. I would hear my sisters and my other cousins sing and I would just sing along. I would write down lyrics of songs in a notebook. I even remember that I can memorize a song, both lyrics and melody in just a matter of hours. Could I be gifted like Lea Salonga? How I wish! When I was young I really thought I had a voice. My teachers in elementary would even want me to sing in school programs which I vehemently resisted. But had sang once though in one of the culmination program in the school.
In high school, I auditioned for a chorale competition. I had to sing the National Anthem based on the key given by the voice teacher. I did all my best but lost. The teacher told me that I was not out of key or tune but had to dismiss me because of my pitch. He said I had a female pitch. That means that I can’t sing male songs. I may be able to sing but with so much difficulty due to its high pitch. I was really puzzled. Could there be such a condition like that? But I do have a very big loud voice. How can it be?
Later, I realized that indeed, I can’t sing male songs. It is really hard for me. It would be either too low or too high for me. But who cares? I am no American Idol. I have all the right to sing whenever and wherever I like. Music lifts my spirit up. It keeps me cool. It soothes me. It makes me sleep. It makes me relax. I can’t live without it.
There are really some good songs that I can relate easily. Songs that can either make me cry or smile. Songs that can set me in the mood. I will be writing another article about these songs that really touch my heart.
Until then.
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